


Everyone is gay (Skam drabbles)

by shinystar66



Series: Forget my soul I'm coming back to yours [3]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Microfic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-06-23 22:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15616845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinystar66/pseuds/shinystar66
Summary: The title says it all.Extras from my other stories or tumblr prompts.





	1. Girls like girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vilde coming to terms with her sexuality and her feelings for Eva as well for somebody else.  
> .
> 
> So this was supposed to be part of my other work "You are not alone (or Skam season 5/6)" but it got too long and irrelevant to the plot of that story. It can be read as a stand alone, but if you want to find out how things end you'll have to read the 'Vilde' chapter of that story. :)

It started a week after Sana’s Eid party. Magnus was sweet, there’s no denying it. He was a great person and an incredible friend. She felt like she could trust him and he had helped her so much with her mom. He was perfect and it should have been perfect, except that nothing felt right. She felt more things kissing Eva for 30 seconds at a party while they were both drunk than when having sex with her boyfriend for 20 minutes.

There was no spark in anything they did. But she kept pretending and kept kissing with a little too much tongue and too much saliva. She kept telling her friends all about the mind-blowing sex she had when the truth was so so far away. But she was too scared to face it.

She watched Isak and Even sometimes. Watched them and couldn’t help the feeling of envy that was pooling in her stomach. _How did they manage to do it? To not care about everybody else? To be open? How?_ She watched from afar how they smiled into their kisses and how happy they seemed. She asked herself if she would ever feel that way.

One day Magnus came to her and said: “Vilde babe I am going to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me. Okay?”

“Okay.” Vilde replied even though her heart was in her throat. _Can he tell? Can he tell that she has been pretending to be in love?“_

"Are you faking it?”

“F-faking what?” She asked even though she knew the answer all too well. _So he knows._

“Orgasming.”

_Oh my god_

“What?” She asked because she was not expecting that.

“I read somewhere that some women are faking it. And it looks like you are not enjoying yourself too much while we are having sex. I just want to know. Am I that bad? Because we can work on it, you just have to tell me what you like. Please don’t let me be bad at it.”

_Oh my god. Sweet gullible Magnus._

“I am. Faking.” She bit her lip. “But it’s not your fault. No, you are perfect. Actually it is your fault, but not for being you. I think it’s because you-” _how does she say something she hasn’t come to terms with herself._

“Because I am a guy.” He finished.

“Yeah. How did you know?”

“I just had a feeling.” He swallowed “I think you start noticing some things when one of your best friends comes out…You reminded me a lot about Isak. And how I was clueless because he was so good at putting on an act and kissing all those girls when in reality he was gay. He told us about it. And I just had a feeling that you were doing this too.”

Vilde wanted to cry. She was not sure she could tell the world yet. So she cried. She cried on her (ex?) boyfriend’s shoulder while he just rubbed circles on her back. “I’m so-sorry” she mumbled between sobs.

“It’s okay. It’s fine Vilde. Really. We can still be friends if you want.”

“Yeah I’d like that” She smiled and went to hug him tightly.

And that’s how their arrangement started. They pretended to still be dating for a while. Until one night she came out to Eva while sleeping over at her’s. Told her everything. Eva only smiled and hugged her and kissed her cheek. Told her that she was proud of her but also something else. “Me too. Just that I am bi”

And Vilde was so happy for a moment. She thought that she could have this- that she could have what she saw looking at Isak and Even. But then the cold truth hit her face. The truth in form of a boy who entered the room. Jonas. Right. She almost forgot that he and Eva had gotten back together. Right there under her eyes, Eva let go of her hand and went to kiss Jonas. Vilde didn’t sleep that night.

***

She started drinking after that. She drank her feelings and sorrows just like her mother did. One night she went to a gay bar and drank so much that she forgot who she was. That’s where Isak found her. Or at least she thinks it was him becasue the next day she woke up in Isak and Even’s apartment, a blanket wrapped over her.

“Hi Vilde” Isak greeted her that day. “I brought you a glass of water and some painkillers so you won’t be hurting too much” He said while sitting next to her on the bed.

Vilde could only stare at him.

“Listen...” he sighed “I heard some things from Magnus. Don’t be mad at him please, he was just worried about you. What I want to tell you is that I know how you are feeling. I was the one drunk of my mind in a gay bar one year ago too. If Eskild hadn’t found me back then, god knows what would have happened to me. Something bad could have happened to you too. Drinking is not the answer, trust me. I tried it. We are not that close but if you want to talk about it I am here.”

So she told him everything. About her realising that she is a lesbian, about her break-up with Magnus and her feelings for Eva, but also about her addicted mother. He only nodded and listened to her while talking about his own experience with his sexuality and crush on Jonas and his mentally ill mother as well. And Vilde never knew she could have so many things in common with somebody until then.

They became good friends after that night. He, together with Even and Magnus, made her brave enough to come out to the girls-apart from Eva-who only hugged her and told her that they still loved her and nothing changed. Vilde cried tears of happiness that day. 

And things were perfect after that. Well almost perfect. Because she still had to endure third-wheeling Jonas and Eva and she almost felt like throwing up every time. Isak saw that and Isak was the one who told Eskild. And then thanks to Eskild she went to a lesbian bar and met her. Amira. And from then on everything changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eva and Jonas, the couple breaking gay kids' hearts since 2015 haha am I right?


	2. The beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I will take a break from writing but I have to finish Strawberries & Cigarettes first.  
> Also me: sees Julie's instagram post and can't think about anything else for hours, has a mini breakdown and feels the need to write something about it. Also, I wrote this before knowing the date in which the kiss happened.

“Isak? What’s wrong?” Jonas asks, sensing that something is wrong with his best friend and Isak asks himself once again if Jonas can read his mind.

“It’s stupid.” Isak asnwers as his eyes drop and he stars staring intensely at the ground. Is that a ladybug on the leaf there?

“It’s not stupid if it makes you upset.” Jonas says, sitting next to him on the bench and squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. Isak feels like the shiver that just went down his spine is not just because of the cool air.

“It’s just…I am going to be 15 soon and I haven’t had my first kiss yet. Everybody has had their first kiss already. You did. I feel like I am never going to kiss anybody-” Jonas stops his from his rambling.

“If you want, you can kiss me. I mean, it’s no big deal.”

Isak raises his gaze and his heart starts beating double time.

“Really?” He mutters, eyes a mix of hope, fear and uncertainty.

“Really. And it would be great for both of us to do some practicing, you know? For girls. So we make sure that we don’t look like fools when we do it with them…and use too much saliva or tongue or something…”

“Okay.” Isak says but his cheeks have turned a bright shade of pink and he feels like his heart is beating even faster than it did a few minutes ago. Is it possible to have a heart attack at 14?

Jonas stares at him.

“Like right now?” Isak asks, eyes wide and looking around to check if anybody is there. But thanfully there isn’t.

“Yeah, or would you rather wait?” Jonas chuckles like it’s no big deal. As if Isak isn’t about to burst.

Isak laughs. “Ok” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Jonas starts to laugh. “Are you having your eyes closed?”

Isak opens his eyes, afraid that he did something wrong.

“No. Or I don’t fucking know. Are you?”

Jonas laughs. “No. I don’t know. Let’s just do this.”

“Ok.” Isak whisperes and his body is buzzing with anticipation, but his mind is freaking out.

“One, two, three.” Jonas counts silently.

Isak feels overwhelmed and weired out. Is this really happening? Did he land in a parallel universe? This whole situation is surreal. He never though about his best friend like that, or about anybody for that matter, but he feels like his whole senses are on fire.

Joans leans toward Isak, Isak starts laughing. There is something out of this world with the way Jonas looks, his lips parted slightly and his eyebrows furrowed. Isak has never seen his friend this nervous.

_God what are we doing?_

Jonas laughs. “Just, what is it now man?”

Isak laughs. “Sorry you just. Sorry let’s start over.”

Jonas starts counting again. “One, two, three.”

Joans and Isak lean toward each others, their lips meet and no one pulls back. Jonas smiles and it may seem for a second that they are going to burst out laughing but they don’t.

Isak feels like this is the beginning of something. Something that was burried deep inside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So about that post....  
> Edit: Now we got the context and this is irrelevant...but honestly i prefer my version


	3. Water trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the follwing prompt: “Don’t you die on me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insert the 'Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me?' gif. No but really, I won't start another wip but I will write tumblr prompts occasionally.

They were on their honeymoon. _Honeymoon._ The word sounded funny rolling on his tongue as Even muttered the word to himself softly, but it was also sweet. After 4 years of dating, they finally decided to tie the knot. And they were still very young and still figuring their life in Trodheim out, but Even had never been so sure of anything in his entire life.

That is why they were now at the beach in Italy, their first vacation as a newly-married couple. Even was just chilling on a beach chair, a pair of black shades covering his eyes and his feet burried in the hot sand while his husband ( _husband_ -another word that sounded so strange to his ears, but so so soothing at the same time) was splashing water in his direction and venturing into the waves.

And it was all fun and games and laughs until Even averted his gaze for a second, distracted by the cry of a seagull who was crossing the sky. When he looked back, there was no sight of Isak. And there was no reason to panic, he must have simply gone further from the shore, or he may have dived underwater for a bit, but something inside Even made him get up immediately to make sure that his husband was fine.

He stepped into the water slowly and looked around, but Isak was nowhere to be seen. He started shouting his name, each time more eagerly and shakily, but there was no response. Now he was really starting to get alarmed. His heart began to hammer in his chest when he saw how there were only a few people in the water and how big the waves were. How come he hadn’t noticed any of this sooner? Isak was not an experienced swimmer, no matter how much he denied that, and Even shouldn’t have let him go that far away.

He dived in as quickly as he could and swam and swam until he found him-floating aimlessly underwater-not too far away thankfully. And he swears the sight made his heart stop, but he had to do something, so he grabbed Isak by the waist and brought him to the surface.

“Isak baby?” He patted his clammy cheeks as he brought him to the shore but there was no response. _Fuck what if he- no no no._ He brought his trembling hand to his nose but he didn’t feel any puff of air against his fingers. _Fuck he is not breathing he is not breathing oh my god._

“Don’t you die on me.” He shouted desperately as tears were rolling down his face and people were crowding around them but he couldn’t care less when his baby was not breathing. He had no experience with first aid whatsoever, but it was like he was no longer connected to his body, spurring into action before analysing anything. So he did what he always saw in movies. He pressed his hands on Isak’s chest and pushed and pushed, stopping only to pinch his nose and breathe air into his mouth or mutter fuck’s and come on’s under his breath.

After four rescue breaths and a particular hard hit in his chest, Isak finally opened his eyes and started coughing and spluttering water. And Even felt as if he could breathe again too.

“Fuck Isak you scared the shit out of me.” Even shouted, wrapping the younger boy in his arms, almost crushing him with the force of the hug.

“Huh? What happened?” Isak asked, his green eyes full of confusion.

“You almost drowned.” Even explained, the gravity of the situation finally hitting him now that the adrenaline had worn off. Isak could have died, he almost did.

“I’m sorry.” Isak mumbled, and he looked just as shaken by the event.

“It’s fine.” Even whispered because he didn’t know what else to say as he burried his head in the crook of Isak’s neck, to breathe him in. _What would I have done without you._ He thought as a lifeguard was approaching them. _Kind of late._ Even thought bitterly.

***

A few hours later, they were wrapped around each other in the hotel room, silently enjoying each other’s presence when Even spoke up, depite the lump in his throat.

“I told you that you can’t hold your breath underwater and you didn’t believe me.”

“Shut up!” Isak said as he nuzzled closer to Even’s neck. “I can hold my breath it’s just that…”

“Let me guess, a drop of water fell down the wrong way?”

“Nei.” Isak frowned. “Maybe that too…I guess I just went too deep and there was this wave that made me lose balance and yeah..”

“You scared me so bad.” Even said, closing his eyes and trying not to cry.

“I know. But I am fine. I am here now.” Isak tried to reassure him. “And that is thanks to you.”

“Hm?”

“What do you mean hm? You literally saved my life.”

“Oh that…yeah but anybody could have given you cpr..”

“But it doesn’t matter who could have. You did. And you are not only my husband now, but also my hero.” Isak said as he pressed their lips together.

_Hero_

***

“You are not allowed to go swimming alone again by the way. Or shower. Or take a bath.”

“Even!”

“I am serious. You had a hotel trauma? I will have a water trauma, I won’t let you get near a body of water on your own ever again.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally can't write angst without making ut fluffy a few minutes later.  
> Enjoy this piece of Isak almost drowning.  
> Forgot to mention that I dedicated this to wordsarelifealways for updating the story that I am obsessed with. You may already know that if you saw the tumblr post.


	4. I will forget his love and I will drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider this an au because Isak and Even would never break up in canon.  
> Based on the follwing prompts:
> 
> “If you walk out that door… don’t you ever come back”  
> “What? You think you’re the only one suffering?"

The crisp cold air of the night made the tip of his ears turn red and his nostrils glued. It was freezing outside, the snowflakes falling in a dizzying dance from the dark sky. And the scenery would have been dazzling in other circumstances, the way these frozen, crystal-clear drops of ice water were illuminating the vastness of darkness, the way they lit up the sky like a huge chandelier would in a ballroom.

But he couldn’t be bothered to admire the nature or his surroundings when his soul was crushed. He was sure that if he stayed more outside the bar, he would get frostbite soon, judging by the way his fingertips were starting to turn red as he burried his hands deep in the already fallen snow from the window stills. He tried to feel something, some kind of itch, anything to make him feel alive again. But he couldn’t. He hadn’t felt anything for a long while.

His heart was broken into a million of pieces, beyond repair. It was stamped on and the little broken pieces were starting to turn into dust recently. The pain was crushing his chest, his mind, his soul and he tried to elevate it by drowning in a huge amount of alcohol like he did tonight, but if anything, the drinking game was only salt added to his festering wounds, it was like a knife that dug deeper in his suffering.

Some nights he wanted to forget, to completely erase him from his memory. But then again, if it weren’t for him, he doesn’t know if he would have ever known what true happiness feels like. Because his life was miserable before him. But in the end, are years of blissfulness worth the heartbreak, the heavy agonizing feelings that he was bearing now? There was a constant battle in his mind. Does he wish he had never met him? He doesn’t know, he couldn’t come to a conclusion.

Some nights he drinks until he forgets his own name, but no matter how many bottles of wine or tequila he swallows, he can’t get him out of his system because he is there, on his clothes, in his brain, in his broken heart, the ghost of his lips on his own.

It had been months since their break-up. He recalls the day very clearly. They had a really bad argument, their worst one. And their nerves were pulled to extreme, which led Isak to say something he regrets now.

_“If you walk out that door…don’t you ever come back” he shouted back then, hot tears running down his face and his voice breaking. And Even left. He left slamming the door behind him and he respected Isak’s wish._

He hadn’t seen him since then.

He couldn’t put an end to feelings that were impregnated deep inside him. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t try, try to make everything a little more bearable. Some nights he cried and screamed in his pillow. Some nights he hit and punched things until his knuckles were starting to bleed and bruise. Some nights he broke things, memories, anything that was a reminder.

Tonight he ran. He ran because Jonas was still in the bar and he could come out anytime. He ran until his feet burned, just like the fire inside him. He ran like a lunatic on the streets of Oslo. The lanters weren’t lit and it was dark outside, dark like the pain in his bones. He ran and he ran but stopped to vomit in a trash can in front of an apartment building. Disgusting. He was so disgusted with the person he became. He wiped his mouth and massaged his temple that was throbbing.

“You look bad.” A voice behind him said and Isak snapped his neck. He could recognise that voice anywhere and anytime. The voice that used to moan his name. The voice that belongs to the person who makes him drink every night now.

“Thanks. You don’t look that good yourself.“ He murmured bitterly. But he lied because Even looked as good as always, with his swoopy blonde hair and deep blue eyes. The way he played with the cigarette between his fingers and blew rings of smoke into the air. His mouth. His beautiful mouth and his plump lips. Isak didn’t know if he wanted to punch Even or lunge himself at him because despite everything, he missed him. So much.

“Well I can’t say I really took care of myself recently. It's been hard for me too.” Even shrugged and Isak noticed the dark circles underneath his eyes and his pale skin. But his mind was cloudy and he snorted.

“What? You think you’re the only one suffering?” Even raised his eyebrows.

But Isak didn’t answer because he felt a hot liquid bubbling in his throat and he returned to the trash can.

“You are drunk.”

“No shit.”

“Come on. I will take you home.” Even threw the cigarette away and stepped on it. Just like you did with my heart. Isak thought.

He held onto the can for dear life as he waited for the vomiting spell to end and Even tried to reach him, but he pushed his hand away, despite the fact that he was craving for his touch.

“Don’t touch me!” Isak slurred and he swayed on his feet a little.

“I don’t want you to end up in a ditch Isak. Stop being so stubborn.”

“Like you still give a shit about me.”

“I do. I never stopped caring about you.” Even said and his eyes looked so blue in the pale light that Isak almost believed him. Almost.

“Come on, we will talk in the morning when you feel better.” Isak nodded and this time, when Even grabbed his arm he didn’t pull away.

Tonight he was wasted and dizzy and sad. He let Even take him home. Tomorrow, he doesn’t know what he will do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to "Da mama" by delia while writing this. You can look for translated lyrics if you want to listen to the song and understand it. I think this is the angstiest thing I have written, but I am kind of proud of it and wanted to post it on ao3 too. The reason to their break-up is up to your imagination, and I know this is just Isak being miserable, but at least it ends on a hopeful note, right?


	5. Insomnia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised I forgot to post this here.  
> Based on the following prompt: “Please… I need you” and set before they moved in their own flat, while Isak still lived in the kollektiv.

If he stares any longer, Isak swears he is going to burn holes in the ceiling with his vision. He sighs, rolls on his side of the bed and looks at his phone to check the time. 3:30. And he has school tomorrow. Great. 

He thought that now that he has Even, he won’t have to deal with sleeping troubles anymore. But he was so so wrong. Because no matter how many times he changed positions or how many sheep he counted, he still didn’t feel comfortable enough to drift off. His brain is buzzing with worries after the many biblical quotes his mother sent him that day and the fact that he has an important biology test in 2 days isn’t really helping either. And it shouldn’t be a big deal, because he has dealt with this stuff before, and other people had much bigger problems. But he couldn’t control himself and he couldn’t for the love of god fall asleep.

  
He turns around to look at his boyfriend who is snoring softly. Isak smiles because Even looks so beautiful while sleeping-well he always looks beautiful-but there is something particularly special in his peaceful expression. Isak brings his hand to Even’s face because he can’t help it. He strokes his hair gently, careful not to disturb his sleep and he feels himself melting when Even nuzzles in the touch. 

He doesn’t want to wake him up because he knows how important sleep is for his boyfriend. He knows how much sleep he loses during his manic episodes, he knows how important rest is for his schedule. And despite all this, Even is a heavy sleeper- which Isak is grateful for, because there is no way another person wouldn’t have woken up at how much he tossed and turned.

Which is why another hour passes and Isak is still wide wake. He starts crying because it is so, so unfair. He just wants to sleep so that he can function normally, is that too much to ask for? He feels his breath starting to shorten, thinking about how he is going to fail his test if he continues in this state, how he can’t be any good to his mom or to his boyfriend how how- He suddenly feels like suffocating and decides to do something he would never try in other circumstances. But he is getting desperate.

“Even.” He whispers, and he hates how much his voice is shaking. “Even wake up…please… I need you.”

As if by sensing Isak’s distress, Even opens his eyes in an instant.

“Hey…hey baby what’s wrong?”

But Isak can’t speak, not when his throat feels strangled.

Even cups his face gently. “Talk to me. What’s the matter?”

“Can’t sleep.” Isak manages to mumble between hiccups.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Even answers, holding him close to his chest.

Isak still weeps because he feels stupid, being rocked like a baby, because he can’t handle his shit.

“Please stop crying. You are breaking my heart.” Even whispers and Isak feels like crying some more. Now not only did he wake Even up, but he also he made him  upset and concerned.

Even holds him even tighter and peppers his face with soft kisses and the weight on Isak’s shoulders lifts a little.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Even asks after a long period of silence.

Isak sniffs and finally meets his gaze. Green meets blue.

“I mean it Isak. I know you are struggling with sleeping, I noticed during the previous nights but I was waiting for you to come to me. I want you to talk to me, okay? I want to be able to help you the way you did with me, okay?”

And Isak nods. He still feels terrible and like a burden, but he can get used to all the affection and care that he didn’t have prior to Even.

And he doesn’t tell him anything that night, he just lets Even kiss his tears away and rock him to sleep. But the next morning, they make tea and they talk. And the pressure on his chest is not that suffocating anymore.


End file.
